I know the path you tread. It is indeed lonely, but know you’re not the only one to have walked it. Whether they act like it or not, the others on this path are just as confused and lost as you are. They are lonely too. However don’t let the need for community, ANY community to combat the loneliness, get in the way of your journey.
The journey is best taken alone for a while. Things will begin to make sense out of out necessity, as reality alone faces you and your experiences. Then you’ll find that’s not necessarily true as soon as you meet someone on their path and pester them about their journey (using the word “pester” playfully).
I’d like to think confusion is a healthy symptom of spiritual growth. We on this path are trying to name the un-nameable, describe the indescribable…experience the only thing there ever was to experience… and often it looks like we’re going insane while doing so =)
Intact sanity or not, I’m happy to have walked and continue to walk this path. I encourage you as you do the same in your own unique way 🙏