A Life of Prayer
What are you praying for?
A strange thought occurred to me a while back. In the light of all of the crazy things going on the in the world, all of the death, uncertainty, anger, and fear, I thought to myself, “I no longer know what to pray for”. I sat with that thought for weeks. All around me, people were dying. Not my immediate close friends and family, but one degree removed, they were losing people left and right. If not outright dying, then people were having a number of medical issues that they were having problems getting resolved because the hospitals were full of Covid-19 patients. I wanted to pray for them, but I didn’t know what to say, what to ask God for. I realized I have no idea what God’s plan is, or if there even is a plan.
In my philosophical and spiritual studies, I’ve encountered the idea of a “life of prayer” but I haven’t quite understood what that means. I see it manifesting in so many ways, but I always felt that I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it truly means. For some, they pray for the sick. Or they pray for the ones left behind, to alleviate their grief of loss. Some pray for abundance. Some pray for peace. Some pray for understanding (I fall into this camp more often than not). Some simply pray in gratitude (also in that camp). Many pray for forgiveness of their sins. Many others pray for the souls of the lost.
There are as many ideas and opinions about prayer as there are people in the world. For most, it’s a quiet time of contemplation. It’s a conversation between the individual and God, where everything else in the world is shut out, there is only the person praying, God, and the object of their prayer. There are of course public prayers, done in churches and around dinner tables. I’ve always felt those to be performative, for the people listening and the person praying, not the personal prayer that I speak of above. Jesus had some choice words to say about this type of prayer:
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
- Matthew 6:5–8
I’m with Jesus here. Prayer is personal. Yet I’ve still been wrestling with the idea of living a life of prayer. Does this simply mean that one is to constantly be praying to God every moment of the day? How can we pray when we’re asleep? What if I can’t achieve the level of concentration necessary to keep an open dialog between me and God 24/7? I still have to go work and pay the bills. I still have to operate in this society. How do I pray when I swipe my debit card at the gas station? When I’m shopping at the grocery store? When I’m talking to a loved one about death?
It has dawned on me as I’ve contemplated a life of prayer. Just like dawn, it’s been a slow revelation of light, a slow receding of darkness. These are the things that have been revealed to me on my spiritual journey. I am at one with God. God is at one with everything. I see the face of God in literally everything. I see God in myself. God speaks through every breath I take, every word I read, every person I encounter in real life or virtually, every leaf that falls, every drop of rain, every ray of sunshine.
God is even in the pills that I take for my diabetes, allergies, and depression. I am those pills as well. I am the pharmaceutical companies that made them. There is no real separation in any part of Creation. It is all one, it is all God. All separation is illusion, as the Buddhists and Hindus say. I still have an issue with that word “illusion” or the original Hindu “maya”, but that’s another topic to wrestle with for another time.
So what was my revelation with regard to a life of prayer? Life is prayer. Every breath I take, every word I speak or write, every action or inaction, they’re all prayer! I don’t have to set aside a time to speak to God in private (although I’d still highly recommend it, as Jesus did). I’m already speaking to God and God to me simply by existing, by being alive. I can’t help but to pray. I can’t stop praying, unless I’m dead. This is true for everyone. We’re all living lives of prayer, whether we believe it or not, whether we want to or not. Our lives are a continuous prayer.
So this brings us to the all important question. What are you praying for? If your every action and every breath is a prayer, are you proud of what you’re praying? Are you giving into fear or ego or doubt? When you look into the face of your enemies, if you see them as enemies, you will act a certain way towards them. They will be something to be feared, defeated, or conquered. You will pray for the strength to overcome them. If, however, you see the face of God in your enemies, then you will act differently towards them. Either way you are praying.
What are you praying for? Are you praying for your identity as a particular gender, nationality, race, religion, or political party? Are you praying for your identity as a mother, father, son, daughter, co-worker, boss, or friend? Are you praying for your masks that you wear as a social creature? Or are you praying for your true identity as a co-creator with God? Are you praying as if you are encountering God every moment of life? Because you are in fact encountering God every single moment. Every photon hitting your retina, every soundwave hitting your cochlea, every push of electrons between your skin and your clothes, the air, and the objects you touch, those are God speaking. Every thought you have, those are God speaking too.
Your life is God speaking to Itself. What is your prayer?
